Find me any performer anywhere who isn't egocentric. You'd better believe you're good, or you've got no business being out there.

I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself".

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You're going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don't care who. You can't make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.