According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.

Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.

Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?

I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.

Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline.

He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.