Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.

If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.

The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

From the time I was a little kid, I was always shy. Performing was when I was outgoing. So I guess I am a loner. I get claustrophobia if a lot of people are around.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

We're more effective than birth control pills.