Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.

That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.

You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.

You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."

Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.