[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father?

Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't ear for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little Lent. What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail.

Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I would more entrust the future of this country to than this one. There is a tendency to live in a nostalgic state in this country, and to think that other generations possessed an integrity and a tenacity greater than the generation that is now. I wholeheartedly disagree with that. I believe that this is a group that will rise up to any challenge that comes before them as well as any other generation in America would have done.

Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it!

The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'

You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."