[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father?

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.

Do you know what writing a book is? It's sitting alone in a room for weeks without making contact with another human. I felt like Howard Hughes.

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.

You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!