I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.

Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.

Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it!

I kid because I'm on basic cable.

The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.

Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.

All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months." You should be coming home to your family.