I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.

I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

The building housing America's military brass is a five-sided pentagon, but somehow, the people in it still manage to make it the squarest place on earth. The latest evidence? A current military document that lists homosexuality as a mental disorder in the same league as mental retardation - noting, of course, the one difference: retarded people can still get into heaven.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.

War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.