I like to think I play rugby as it should be played - there are no yellow or red cards in my collection - but I cannot say I'm an angel.

I only get the points because I have team-mates who do the work and put me in the position to get them.

The problem with me is I always think I should've done better. I felt that after the World Cup final and through my whole career.

When you're obsessive, like me, searching for something unattainable can become unhealthy ... it's like falling through the air and grabbing at the clouds.

Failing at something is one thing, but Buddhism tells us that it is up to us how we interpret that failure [Buddhism] a philosophy and way of life that resonates with me I identify with it. I agree with so much of the sentiment behind it. I enjoy the liberating effect it's had on me to get back into the game Buddhism, with its concepts of karma and rebirth, have freed me from the twin fears of death and life without rugby, like life, will also come to an end.

I play with a fear of letting my team down. That's what motivates me.

I know that Martin Johnson [the England coach] was in the stands, but I didn't feel it was up to me to impress them. He and his assistant [Brian Smith] were here to support me.