I'm not necessarily proud of the World Cups and the grand slams won or lost, the amount of points I scored, this record or that.

I want to be more than just some guy who played in a World Cup final.

Right through to the end of the last World Cup game, I still couldnt bear the thought of not being perfect or letting people down.

I would like to wish the England squad every success. I would also very much like to extend those wishes to Martin Johnson, Brian Smith, Mike Ford, John Wells, Graham Rowntree and the rest of the England 2011 World Cup management team who have been fantastic and deserve people to know that.

When you're obsessive, like me, searching for something unattainable can become unhealthy ... it's like falling through the air and grabbing at the clouds.

I know that Martin Johnson [the England coach] was in the stands, but I didn't feel it was up to me to impress them. He and his assistant [Brian Smith] were here to support me.

I like to think I play rugby as it should be played - there are no yellow or red cards in my collection - but I cannot say I'm an angel.