To say I have played through four World Cups, two Lions tours, 91 international games and a ridiculous number of injuries and other setbacks gives me an incredibly special feeling of fulfilment. I know myself well enough to know that I will never truly be satisfied.

I wouldn't go in a fast food outlet even to use the toilet.

When you're obsessive, like me, searching for something unattainable can become unhealthy ... it's like falling through the air and grabbing at the clouds.

The conversation topic in my head is not what role I should play; it is whether I am going to play at all.

The problem with me is I always think I should've done better. I felt that after the World Cup final and through my whole career.

I'm not necessarily proud of the World Cups and the grand slams won or lost, the amount of points I scored, this record or that.

We need to ask ourselves what are we here for and what have we worked so hard to be here for.