A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

Anxiety will bear a lot of nuisance.

Take the humbug out of this world, and you haven't much left to do business with.

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.

A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.

The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.