the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.

I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.

Men are seldom underrated; the mercury in a man finds its true level in the eyes of the world just as certainly as it does in the glass of a thermometer.

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.