Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.

Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.

One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it.