Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

We have some writers so abstruse and deep that they drown themselves in their fathomless sentences.

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.

Metaphysics is the science of proving what we don't understand.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

Men are seldom underrated; the mercury in a man finds its true level in the eyes of the world just as certainly as it does in the glass of a thermometer.

Advice can be like cod liver oil, easy enough to administer but not so pleasant to take for anybody.