Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

Fuss is half-sister to hurry, and neither of them can do anything without getting in their own way.

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.

Advice can be like cod liver oil, easy enough to administer but not so pleasant to take for anybody.

Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.