What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.

You have to really kiss up to EVERYONE! Kiss up to anyone you think can help you. That's really the best advice I can give. You obviously have to have an act - but, maybe you don't.

I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing.

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

I was nominated for two Grammy's, but ... more importantly, I like it when I get a letter from someone ... a person that I've affected their lives or I've helped them. That's important to me. Someone will say "I was feeling bad and you helped me".

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.