I was nominated for two Grammy's, but ... more importantly, I like it when I get a letter from someone ... a person that I've affected their lives or I've helped them. That's important to me. Someone will say "I was feeling bad and you helped me".

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!

I should have my own show by now. Yeah. How many damn sitcoms does Kelsey Grammer need? How many more stupid Housewives do they need throwing tables and limbs at each other. Yeah, I guess I need to take off my artificial leg and throw it at Vanderpump. I like doing live shows - it's just getting to them that's a hassle.Doing films is fun too ... a good film ... but there's a lot of waiting around.

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait."