I think Australians like a bit of vulgarity

I live in a kind of gay bubble. I live in a gay house, I drive a gay car. I eat gay food

I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books

I, as you may know, am no stranger to the organic courgette, but I still cannot work out who these gay footballers are.

However light-hearted you try to be about it, the loss of youth, and everything that goes with it, is quite a trauma.

My dresser and I have the hots for the new rugby ace Danny Cipriani. We have a shrine in my dressing room - press photos of him on the field looking swarthy and fit, and snaps of our boy emerging from Mayfair nightclubs, looking sexy and dishevelled.

I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me