I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.

I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.

They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert. It's worse in the sea [than anywhere else in the animal kingdom]. In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock.

Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'

I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.