I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.

The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’

If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!

Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.

It's easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you've got nowt to lose.