It's easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you've got nowt to lose.

Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'

The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.

We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about

It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.

[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for