I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’

The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.

Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday - what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.

Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.

The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.

The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.