How would I know which one I was?

If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat?

Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.

Blind people can stay up longer than someone with eyes.

What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.

I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand.

You never see an old man eating a Twix