Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.

Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.

You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge.

Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.

I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.

If you’re not happy looking a knob in the face, there’s something wrong.

Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.