Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.

I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse

If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.

I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.

We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about

Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.