You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.

I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.

If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake?

it annoys me a bit how people like squirrels but not rats. at the end of the day they're the same thing, except that squirrels have had a better upbringing.

I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me.

If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good

I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.