They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.

It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey

If you’re not happy looking a knob in the face, there’s something wrong.

It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.

For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see.

When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.