I told her that I can't be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake... I've never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrible dry sponge. The icing covers up the mess, and that's how I feel about most of the Wonders. They use them to get people to visit a place that you probably wouldn't think about visiting.

If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat?

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.

There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.

We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.

The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.