The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.

I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.

People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option?

If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.

If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.

Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.

We're just a weed in the universe