They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.

The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much.

It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.

That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.

I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for

The Web is the new book though, innit?