It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.

I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit.

I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.

That impresses me more, inventin' electricity.

The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.

Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.

If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good