[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.

I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.

With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.

I was still using my eyes even though I had them shut.

We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.

You never see an old man eating a Twix

You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.