It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep.

They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.

People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?

They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.

Shitty nappy whizzing through the air, you don't see that in the brochures.

I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.