It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.

Knowledge is almost annoying.

Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be mush.

I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.

Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!

Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday - what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.

The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.