Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.

The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.

I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.

I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.

The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.

They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.