When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.

The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’

I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.

I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it.

The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere.

Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'

Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?