The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere.

This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.

Every problem solved is a problem made.

Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be mush.

You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge.

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.

A problem solved is a problem caused.