I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.

From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!

I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.

Chinese people age overnight.

Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.

Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot.

The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.