There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.

This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.

It's easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you've got nowt to lose.

Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.

It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for

There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly