I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.

I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.

Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.

The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.

That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog.

I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.

I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse