The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.

I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.

A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau

A dog has got human eyes.

It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.

How would I know which one I was?

Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.