But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.
I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.
I am what you call a non-believer. I don't even want to say I'm an atheist because frankly I don't want to join their club either. But the point is, I am a fallen catholic, I'm not religious, and that's all well and good.
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.