I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.

Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

I'm saying that she (Whitney Houston) looks great for a singer... the way Courtney Love is a singer.

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.