I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.

I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up material.

I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.