I'm basically always on tour.

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!

Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.