Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

I'm saying that she (Whitney Houston) looks great for a singer... the way Courtney Love is a singer.

Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and see one of the popular girls or football players completely wasted and puking and acting a fool, and think to myself, there is nothing cool about that. I never wanted to be that out of control.

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.

I love to work. I love doing standup.