I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.