I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up material.