I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.