I do feel I'm kind of a magnet for crazy, and if there isn't enough crazy, I will insert myself in a situation that I feel has comedy potential.

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I can criticize your religion all I want, and you can criticize mine. I don't like this whole climate of, 'You can't ever say anything bad about the group I'm in, cause every group is untouchable.' We can all criticize each other and engage in debate all we want.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.