Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.

It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.