I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

No one teaches you how to do this. How do you let go of someone who you love so much?