Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

Basically it's just a whole bunch of blokes standing around scratching themselves

If the Nobel Prize was awarded by a woman, it would go to the inventor of the dimmer switch.

I knew absolutely nothing about bondage. I'd always presumed it was just an inventive way of keeping your partner from going home.

It's a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a stray, worm-riddled dog, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a kid with bronchitis and pick his nose and eat it on a regular basis, yet won't sit next to his sister because of 'Girl Germs'.

Women want to be treated as equals, not sequels.

As a breastfeeding mother you are basically just meals on heels.