Believe me, having a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban.

I speak as your native guide to the mysterious tribe called the English. Dress code is everything. You can be a card-carrying Nazi, you can pay gigolos to eat gnocchi out of your navel and you won't be pilloried -- as long as you never, ever wear linen with tweed.

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

Age to women is what kryptonite is to Superman. Inside every older woman is a younger woman screaming, 'Get me the hell outta here.'

Love is like a tide. When it's in, everything looks beautiful and inviting. Only when love recedes can you see the debris beneath the surface - the old bottles, the rusty prams, the sewage pipes, the bloated cats and dogs weighted down to drown. The man I had once loved so passionately I now saw as weak, gutted like a fish.

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

Any woman who calls herself a post-feminist should keep her Wonderbra and burn her brains.